Flip me a coin.

That moment when you have to flip a coin to make a decision... and you find your heart hoping for tails... says a lot about what decision you should make....

I suppose it's a good thing we have a God who when lots are cast decides the way in which the dice... or coin... falls...and that will be the best possible outcome.

Right?

Dreams?

Someone once told me that if I could imagine myself accomplishing my dreams on my own they were too small. That I need to dream bigger so that it isn't myself that is accomplishing it but God through me. I like the sounds of that... until it comes to actually having one of those big big dreams... then all of the sudden... it's scary. "What if's" fly through the mind faster than [here I pause to ask my roommate what things are fast because I suddenly cannot think of anything fast... heres the consensus... faster than nascar cars around the track, faster than a den of wild lions (what?!), faster than a horse, faster than a treadmill at full speed, faster than a jet plane, or a roller coaster, or a kid running to the bathroom because he's really really gotta go, faster than my own legs could carry me... (where?... I don't know...), faster than an ambulance roaring down the freeway (apparently that's 'pretty fast'), and... faster than her brain at this moment (her words not mine)... not to mention my own...]. I would say the quantity of those what-ifs also outnumbers the number of fast things we could think of. Sigh.

Have you ever rolled around an idea in your head for an extended period of time out of fear of speaking it out? Fear... fear of what? That it might not happen? That it might happen? That you wouldn't actually be able to do it? That you would?

I suppose the purpose of a super big dream is that you don't have to carry the weight of it... because you physically can't... therefore you can walk light... right into the fulfillment of it because there is a God who wants to accomplish something bigger than you can even think of... and he wants to use you to do it. How humbling!

So..do it... dream it up....

(absolutely this is one of those cryptic thinking about something specific in life but wont actually say what it is blog... just because that is how I roll... for now. Sorry. Please note warning from previous post and apply it here as well)

(Another side note... it is also a good idea NOT to attach an age as to which this could be accomplished.... it tends to cause some anxiety)

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my Mom? Cuz I really really really really do.

Just start!

Sorry in advance if this post is mentally/emotionally confusing... It is going to be all over the place. Be warned.

Lately I have been thinking a lot. About life in general. About where I am at. And how I wish I could do such and such a thing better. And how I think about how I think about that a lot... and don't do anything about it. I read this post recently. And it was fairly inspiring. I also read this post (Feb. 17). I was also inspired. These are just a couple blogs I follow about people who are just... living out their faith in love. It is definitely true... sometimes all we need to do is get off the couch! (Which is where I happen to spend quite a bit of my time as it is my temporary office for this semester for my practicum, as well as my craft area, as well as my relax are, as well as my eating area... my couch is well loved) But at least it has pretty flowers on it... It has has got me thinking a lot lately (not my couch... the post about the couch) and seems to be a reocurring theme in random pictures I've seen and such as well. I just have to start. Just do it. Stop thinking about HOW and... do it. We spend an awful lot of time thinking about how to do something, what it would look like if we did it, what we would need to do to do it.... and not a lot of doing. I think its time to start... doing.
Couple areas of my life this is working out well in. Health for one. It has been a solid month and half of consistent healthy eating (well... mostly consistent), and staying active (2-4 times a week of intentional work out time). This has been a huge accomplishment for it. And I have stayed motivated, and have dramatically felt the difference. (A little competition with the bro's maybe helps out a lot in this area). And.. oh... did I mention this... I am ENJOYING it? What? Yeah.
Another area.... getting my craft on... one of those things... I've LOOKED at a LOT of DIY blogs and pictures and tutorials and all that jazz... and THOUGHT about how I just would like to do things like that but NEVER do! So... I just started. More recently. I made things like this...



or this...


which made me wanna make this...




and then these!!




aren't they lovely?




I also have been experimenting with this...











And THIS!!...






How FUN is ALL that!!!

Anyways.
The moral of the story is....

JUST START!

Dry Eyes!

So, in light of my last post... I would like to share with you a victory I experienced today (whilst making my very first casserole!!... much to be improved on.. but it was alright). making this casserole involved chopping up an onion. I was DREADING it... but I knew the dish would not be the same without it. I learned a trick from a customer at the coffee shop I work at. Despite how skeptical I was... I remained tear free!!! With NO saranawrap!! How? I bet your just dying to know. I even considered not even telling you just to keep this all to myself... but that would be rather selfish of me i suppose...so I will tell you.
First you cut off the ends. Then you look at the ends, and the end that looks like it has a white sort of core thing in it...take a knife to it there and core out the white chunky thing in the middle. Apparently that is the part that holds most of the gas that makes your eyes feel like they are on fire. Then, take the onion and soak it in really cold water. Voila... your now onion is now anti tear-inducing.

Don't you feel like your life is changed? I do.

So what. Onions make me cry.

And I mean a lot. Its like they crawl right up into my eye sockets and start scrubbing my eyeballs with acid. I've been desperate for a solution. I rinse with cold water. I chew on something. I try cutting out the core part that apparently emits the gas. I've TRIED and I've CRIED. And out of desperation a couple nights ago, when my meal just wouldn't have been the same without some fried onion... I came up with this...



please laugh. you're allowed. really. i understand the ridiculousness of it.

but guess what? I didn't shed a SINGLE TEAR.

and I came out with this beauty of a creation.



Veggie and Chickpea stuffed Acorn Squash. (Still lovin the squash, though I can say I am making it less frequently as my new vegetable loves are brussel sprouts and asparagus)

everything seems a little fuzzy

ever make a decision for yourself to happen in the future? and then stumble upon that future date sooner than anticipated... and then all the sudden you have more than one option than the original planned decision... and your left at a crossroads with wonderful options no matter which way you look?

that's where I am at. though these things are really not going to happen until aug/september, the decision needs to be made this month.... BAH...